Thursday, December 6, 2018

Cree's Birth Story

It's December 4th as I am writing this. Today is my 32nd birthday and I am spending an hour of my night doing something that I want and love.... writing and pouring my thoughts and stories out on the blog.





Today is my birthday! ๐ŸŽ‚๐ŸŽ ๐ŸŽ‰ I’m 32! With all that’s going on... it doesn’t really feel like it’s my birthday and feels just like any other day this year. This past month has been blurring together. My head is not as clear and mental health not as strong as I’d like it to be right now as my hormones and anxiety are temporarily kicking my butt and that’s okay. It’s to be expected postpartum—at least for me personally anyways. There are 3 presents that I got for my birthday that make me happy though... 1. I got a killer gift bag full of Victoria’s Secret/Pink (ya girl learned how to coupon at VS/Pink like a boss!!! VS/Pink sisters... I know you’ll understand and get my excitement! ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ› ๐Ÿ› 2. Within 2 weeks after giving birth my body dropped half of the pregnancy weight that was gained with no effort. Definitely a pick me upper and a shock during this sensitive period. 3. I’m spending an hour of my night writing my birth story on the blog. A little sad that baby Cree no longer wanted to be my birthday gift. Instead he wanted to be my Thanksgiving blessing, which is still just as beautiful. ๐Ÿคฑ๐Ÿฝ Given the situation that he and I were in... he knew he needed to get out and fast. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ Thankful to see another year! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ 32... we’re gonna kick ass! #postpartumfeelings #thistooshallpass #birthdaygirl #postpartumjourney
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It's been 2 weeks since sweet baby Cree made an unexpected and eventful arrival at 37 weeks via emergency c-section. This is his birth story.......









My pregnancy was pretty textbook and routine up until the last 2 months. I wasn't considered high risk. I could safely workout. All of my testing and vitals at every appointment along with all of my ultrasounds were good and normal. According to my midwife, AFTER the birth, she said he seemed to be measuring ok at appointments and she didn't see any concerns. I had difficulties throughout my pregnancy mentallyใƒผstress and depression. Feeling sick majority of the time and living in an older home with many needed repairs will kinda do that to you. I slowed down and tapered off the workouts during the last 2 months. I was getting bigger, heavier, tired and I just wanted to rest, so I listened to my body. As good as working out made me feel during pregnancy even if it was just temporary for those 30 minutes to an hour that I was moving my baby bump, I had to slow down and back off towards the end. I stuck to walking to remain active for the last 2 months. Right after I stopped regular workouts seem to have been around the time when things started going wrong.

At my 36 week appointment we found out Cree was breeched and if he didn't turn that would call for an automatic c-section. My midwife wanted to do a procedure with the ob the following week if he didn't change positions. She was ready to do everything in her power to change his positioning and avoid a c-section. Long story short... he changed positions on his own and I STILL ended up with a c-section.     

Even though my husband and I kept predicting he would come around Thanksgiving, we had been hoping for him to wait until his due date due to last minute urgent house repairs that couldn't wait. We were days into house repairs and during that time Harlie Jade and I were stuck in the bedroom while the work was being done, which was usually during the evening hours. Furniture everywhere and out of place, dust everywhere. What should have only been a 1 or 2 day job ended up being much longer than that. It was a very stressful time for my family to say the least.

The evening of November 16th my water broke on it's own at 7:30 pm while I was stuck in the bedroom watching tv in the bed and doing some online surfing. My hubby wasn't home at the time. He was out getting extra materials for the people working on the house. Once I felt the gush I knew I had to jump out of bed to prevent what happened with my first pregnancy. I ruined our mattress the first time round! My water broke with that pregnancy as well. Overnight at 3:30 am in my sleep.

As soon as I felt it I hopped off the bed and at first I thought I peed my pants until the fluids kept coming slowly and wouldn't stop. I stayed calm on the outside for my daughter, who was in her own little world on her tablet, and the workers on the other side of the door who had no clue what was going on, but with a racing heart on the inside. I called my hubby to calmly let him know what was up. I knew he would freak out with the condition the house was in. At the time, we both thought this couldn't have come at a worse time. Little did we know that it had to happen when it did as things were going seriously wrong on the inside of me. Baby boy knew it and knew it was time to get out to keep himself safe. 

Hubby rushes home and I continue to pack mine and HJ's bag as neither of them were fully ready. I had a gut feeling for the past 3-4 weeks that they should have been fully packed and it was causing me stress, but still decided to take my time throughout those weeks thinking I still had time. We notified the workers of what was going on and everyone left. I didn't rush to the hospital this time around and took my time leaving the house and dropping HJ off. Especially seeing as how I was barely having any contractions. Once my water broke with HJ I started getting contractions within minutes after it happened. With baby boy... barely any. That was the first sign that I thought was a little weird and different.
 
Dropped HJ off and said my goodbyes to her until we saw each other again. This time around was really nerve wracking because all I could keep thinking about was, "What if something happens to me?" I almost cried walking back to the car, but I also kept thinking of it on the side of a little vaca without kids for a bit. I honestly didn't know what or how to feel. We didn't get to the hospital until after 9 pm. Once we pulled up and parked we sat there for about 5-10 minutes talking and trying to wrap our heads around what was happening. The current condition our house was in. The fact that we would be leaving as parents of 2 and a family of 4. Enjoying the last calm before a severe storm.
We checked in with labor and delivery and got settled into my room. I was delivering at a different hospital this time around due to my midwife not having hospital privileges at the hospital I preferred. The room wasn't as cozy, warm and inviting this time around. It felt like a brightly lit, cold, damp and uninviting place to labor and deliver. I was very uncomfortable.

Skipping ahead for a minute.... the postpartum rooms were a lot nicer.

Met with my nurses for the night. Got setup with IV's. One lady hit a valve, so that was a no go. It left me in pain and bruised. Finally got the other arm and we were good to go. Once the nurses found out I was still barely having any contractions they started me on Pitocin to get everything going. Boy oh boy did it work! I ended up getting my epidural at 4 cm dilated just like I did with HJ. After I asked for one, it took forever to get it to me. First, the nurse had to pump me with more fluids to prevent low blood pressure. Then, I had to wait on the anesthesiologist. I was in more pain this time around at 4 cm than I was the first time. The first time, I was handling the pain like a freaking boss and wasn't ready for the epidural at 4 cm, but my mom and nurse pushed me to get it, so I don't get too uncomfortable. This time the pain became unbearable at 4-5 cm. I felt mentally weak, exhausted, and lazy. I got tired of trying to just go with the pain very quickly.  

I knew things were off and just weren't right when I was not left alone to rest into the morning like I was with my first labor. When baby boy and I were constantly being monitored around the clock pretty much since we got hooked up to monitors and the hours that should have felt like an eternity became the total opposite. Things became hectic hour by hour and things happened fast. They noticed Cree's heart rate dipping and dropping extremely low consistently. They noticed he also wasn't dropping down further into the birth canal. My husband and I carefully watched the monitors and the nurses expressions. Hubby has this insanely good talent with reading people. So, naturally he could easily read their faces and body language and sense that something was wrong, but that they weren't ready to clue us in just yet.

At the time, I assumed they were just giving us extra attention because they seemed to have been having trouble with the belly monitors. I eventually learned that it was my boy not staying still and constantly moving away from where they needed him to be to monitor his vitals. More nurses started joining my nurse as the hours went by. We were finally clued in on what was going on as each nurse spoke to the next nurse joining them during this ordeal. They had me doing different positions every 30 minutes to try and get him moving down, which wasn't helping any. They finally called my midwife, but her partner came instead. Around 6 am they filled her in on what was going on. The room started to fill up more and the ob doctor that both midwives work with on their medical team joined her while all the nurses were scurrying around. He told us that we have an angry little man and he's not tolerating the labor. He's having trouble recovering between contractions and he's barely making it and they needed to get him out now via emergency c-section. They told me there was a good chance that he would not make it through a vaginal delivery.

Skipping ahead for a minute.... after the surgery they called this fetal intolerance of labor.
 
After 11 hours of labor at 6:30 am they called it and sounded an alarm while calling out codes and rushing around to prep me and the OR they would be operating in. I felt sad, scared, and defeated like almost as if my baby was battling my own body... an environment that should have been a safe place for him until he was ready to make his grand entrance. 
They prepped me for OR and took hubby to another room to suit up. They rolled me to OR and got started after I was given instructions. They had already started the surgery before hubby was allowed in the room. I laid there with a million thoughts racing through my head while smelling burning flesh!!!!!! I was able to see what they were doing in the mirror on the ceiling above me and quickly turned away. After the smell of burning flesh went away, they had hubby come in to join me. I felt that I was doing just fine until I started getting pain and stiffness in my neck and I started getting super uncomfortable.
 
























After what felt like an eternity of tugging and pulling and my insides being moved all around.... our gorgeous little mans was born. Just like with HJ, he didn't cry right away. Once I heard a cry, I got very emotional. I couldn't see him and the team had to tend to his needs quickly, so this momma didn't get a look right away. I heard the nurses call out the time of birth (7:14 am), the weight (4 lbs 6 oz), and the gender (boy). Hubby was watching over our boy from a distance. After I heard his weight... I was stunned. Hubby was stunned. The entire team was stunned. The team kept questioning one another on how far along I was in my pregnancy. They knew he was too small for his gestational age and something went wrong. I was quickly told that he was having trouble stabilizing his temperature and because of that and his low birth weight, he had to be admitted to the nicu. They gave me one quick look at him before they took him.

Hubby started getting emotional. More emotional than he got with HJ's birth, which is completely understandable. Not only is he getting a boy, but there were complications, the fact that I was having surgery, and also the fact that a new life started in the same hospital that a life was taken due to a battle lost with cancer on his side of the family earlier in the year. Nurses were trying to talk with him. Asked him if he needed something to eat. If he wanted some water, or to take a breather. I kept smiling at him in a calm manner and asking him if he was ok and he kept nodding yes. Nurses finally took him to the recovery area where he would wait for me to come out.

As they were finishing up my surgery, I started shaking uncontrollably and that sh*t lasted for hours!!!!!! It was uncomfortable. I also started feeling insanely nauseous and was told to speak up if I was feeling that way. I got sick as they started getting ready to roll me to recovery. I also overheard the team talking about my case. They said my baby was rejecting the womb. At some point during my pregnancy, my placenta had stopped giving him nutrients and he stopped growing. Then, they went on to say how happy they were with the call that they made. They don't like to do c-sections, but it was absolutely necessary to save his life. They all congratulated one another on a job well done.

Rolling me back to recovery, I came face to face with hubby shaking uncontrollably with my face in a bucket spitting out stomach acid. After an hour, we were headed to postpartum where I was getting settled into my room where I'd be spending the next 4 days. I was met with an uninvited visitor (hubby's brother) who barged into my room and was quickly escorted out by my hubby. You best believe that when he said hi, I said absolutely nothing and gave him the death stare. This was one of the many reasons why most visitors were not allowed at the hospital this time around. As part of my birth plan, I was only willing to allow my parents, hubby's mother and grandmother to visit this time around. Privacy meant the world to me this time around. I did not want to deal with the stress of having visitors this time around. It made me happy to know that hubby was on my side and respected my wishes of no visitors outside of my small list of exceptions. Happy to say that I mostly got my wish with the exception of that one incident I just mentioned.





 



After a day of Cree being in nicu and having trouble with his temps, he started regulating them and was able to come out to us for what we thought would have been for the remainder of our stay. 
































The next problem arrived when he had poor feeding and was barely eating. HJ did that too, but was never admitted to nicu for it. Around 5 am after multiple unsuccessful attempts on our end throughout the day and overnight after he had a pattern of barely eating, taking too long to eat the little amounts he was taking and using up all of his energy to eat... they told us he would have be taken back to nicu and given a feeding tube to help him get nutrients. Hubby was more upset at their decision than I was. I understood it. I knew it was going to help him feed and grow. My motto and thought process at the time... "It is what it is. We will do what have to and what we can to get him through and he'll pull through just fine". Honestly. I wasn't as worried as my husband was. After we held him for a bit and said our goodbyes until we came to visit him later, they rolled him back to nicu.

Hubby had left for the day not too long after Cree left and came back later that night. We spent all day a part and each of us wondering how he looked supposedly being hooked up to all the tubes. We had all day to brace ourselves. I was doing fine and wasn't worried so much. I knew he was under great care. When we went to visit him later that night, we found out he wasn't hooked up to anything. They got him eating before they made a final decision on the feeding tube. 








He was only in my room for 2 days out of my entire stay. The rest of the time he was in nicu for feeding and lots of testing.

Had the midwife caught on during the end of the pregnancy about what was going on, he would have been born a lot sooner than he was. And had my water not broke when it did... who knows what would have happened. I can tell that something was looking out for us and I am completely grateful for whatever that something is. 

HJ is adjusting to being a big sister just fine. There's good and bad moments. One of my favorites is when I can't get to Cree fast enough before he starts wailing overnight. When she wakes up to it she will either leave the room and sit on the chair in the living room giving us the death stare until he stops, or she'll sit up in the bed half asleep giving us the death stare. I'm literally laughing as I type this because it's so funny!













I am healing just fine physically. Within 2 weeks of giving birth, my body had lost almost half of the pregnancy weight that was gained. I gained 39 lbs with this gorgeous little man. I gained 30 lbs with HJ. I actually feel a lot better postpartum this time around than I did the first time with my episiotomy. Even though I am struggling a bit mentally with my anxiety being a little higher than it has been in awhile, hormones and such and the stresses of our house repairs... I feel like I am in a much better place mentally this time around than the first. That is something that actually sends shock waves when I think about it.

 

Everyone is happy and healthy (for the most part ๐Ÿ˜)!






Thanks for reading!


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