Saturday, March 18, 2017

Hang on tight, it's going to be a crazy ride...

I have had a lot of extra time than I normally do to spend some time on the blog today. It feels really great to be able to just sit down and spend some quality time on the blog without being rushed. There is nothing more relaxing than being able to sit down in a comfy spot and write/share your thoughts. It's so comforting. When I don't get a lot of time to be able to sit down in deep thought with concentration and comfortably write without feeling rushed and throwing together a post in a hurry, then it stops becoming something that I enjoy because I don't get to do it the way I want to. I still continue to fight through the times when it's not enjoyable because I know that it will not always be that way. I let things get the best of me and my time and it is my responsibility to make time for the things that I enjoy.

April is only two weeks away and I am preparing and bracing myself for what will be a very busy month. A crazy whirlwind of events, announcements, and celebrations. I am nervous just writing about it.

I'm hanging on tight... it's going to be a crazy ride.  

Prep - 7 Weeks Out - That back though!!

The past couple of days with comp prep have been pretty tough on me, which I explained a little, but not all of what was getting to me lately on social media. I had my second emotional breakdown during prep and it was a tough one, but definitely not the toughest one yet. I still feel like the first one I went through was the toughest so far. Usually when I go through these emotional breakdowns during prep it usually involves not only wacky hormones, but also feelings of being beat down, insulted by others, burnout and defeat. I usually bounce back within a day along with the damn hormones. Crazy hormones! ๐Ÿ˜œ

After a tough weekend, I am starting my Monday off strong. It is a new week and I am continuing the fight like I ALWAYS do, like I ALWAYS have! It was a string of events that happened one after another this past weekend that left me a little broken and hurt. . . When one has to question your motivation and you are FAR from unmotivated and have been more motivated than ever and working your ass off... Well... It stings and it hurts. I work hard for EVERYTHING I want and everything I have and will continue to do so and I'll be damned if I let anyone make me feel otherwise. ๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿ™… #happymonday loves! Also, I know there are a ton of newbies lately and I had planned on doing an intro post for everyone to familiarize themselves with myself and my story, but @afrogirlfitness saved me from having to do that this week! ๐ŸŽ‰ Check out my feature on the Afro Girl Fitness blog! "Throughout this adventure, I have developed a passion for health and fitness and I am extremely grateful for that because it doesn’t happen to everyone." . .
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Recently, I got amazing news of my newest ambassadorship for 2017 with Momentum Jewelry and I am wildly ecstatic about this as I have been in love with them since I laid eyes on them and got to learn what they were all about during a campaign I worked on with them last year. They offer amazing, motivating, and inspiring athletic jewelry involving beautiful quotes. You can even make your own custom jewelry as well. 

As you can see from my Instagram post below... 

I ordered 3 motivate wraps, which included a custom one with my journey and blog name on it. I had it made to celebrate and announce some awesome news next month. I am so in love with them!

After a tough morning, a slight emotional breakdown which included a good cry, this package arrived at my doorstep and it honestly could not have come at a better time! I am serious! I have been ballin' my eyes out all morning because I'm an emotional wreck today (probably hormones), wasn't happy with my progress photos for the week, not feeling well, looking at my daughter all morning and having waves of sadness trying to consume me and feeling like a failure as a mom, wife and client because I feel like I am letting people down.... I am bloated and full of doubts today. I know this moment is going to pass as it always does and it's not the first time I have felt like this during prep. But this package cheered me up a bit. I ordered my first "custom" motivate wrap from @momentumjewelry the other day along with some other quotes that really speak to me about my journey and story. I ordered the custom one with my blog/journey name to celebrate some really special news that I will share with you all as soon as I am able. I am so proud and excited and YOU guys helped me find my next path stemming from this beautiful journey. #CantWaitToShare #MomentumJewelry #FindYourSpark #MomentumJewelryAmbassador
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In other news, I received my comp bling the other day and I am totally in love with it. It made me SUPER excited about the show! I can't wait to see what my suit will look like! 


I AM OFFICIALLY REGISTERED for my show (more info as I near the "4 weeks out" mark) and I'M ALREADY A NERVOUS WRECK!

As I get closer and closer to my show (6 weeks), I am starting to feel an enormous amount of anxiety and nerves and it continues to build as the weeks pass. I know it's normal for everyone to feel that way, but when you have an actual disorder where your levels have a tendency to reach extremely severe (non-normal) levels, that's when you have to be extra cautious. I have a very dark history with my disorders, which I will open up more about in time. But regardless of how I am feeling about it all dealing with the anxiety of being on stage in front of hundreds of people, working with other people, etc... I just wanna have fun and enjoy it the best I can with an anxiety disorder. I am super proud of myself for continuing to SAFELY push myself out of my comfort zone. I am also proud of anyone else who is doing the same with or without disorders. It's fu๐Ÿ™Šking hard and I am fu๐Ÿ™Šking proud and you should be proud of yourself too! #anxietydisorders #anxiety #socialanxietydisorder #generalizedanxietydisorder
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Felt really good to knock this post out today. Usually, it takes me days and sometimes weeks just to get ONE post together and posted.

Thanks for reading!

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