Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Spread Your Wings and Fly

For those of you that know my story or a portion of it and how my journey began, then you know that MAJOR health issues played a role in my decision to finally become serious in learning the right tools and applying them to transform my mind, body and life. It was a little over 4 year's ago that doctors told me after several severe episodes of neurological symptoms that hit me out of nowhere that I could possibly have Multiple Sclerosis (MS). 

Some of my most severe symptoms included Optic Neuritis that left me almost blind in my right eye for a month. I started regaining vision again, but my vision never fully recovered from it and damage was left behind. I had more episodes that included limited mobility and not being able to walk and a lot of other symptoms. After testing, some of which was painful and ruling everything out, doctors told me they were 95% sure it was MS, but weren't giving me an official diagnosis just yet and wanted to monitor me while starting MS treatments on me. I told them not without a 100% diagnosis and I was trying to conceive my first child at the time, which all doctors knew about and my whole situation, so my decision of no meds remained.

After the news, doctors gave me packets of information about MS and treatments. I was full of anxiety, scared, and a lot of thoughts and emotions were running through my mind and body when I tried to process the entire experience and everything I was dealing with. I was wondering why they weren't giving me the full diagnosis if they were giving me a 95% chance that it's MS. The thought of the possibility of not being able to see or walk in future or do the things that I loved to do without a lot of issues was very frightening to me. Vision issues scare me the most as I seem to have 2 things working against me in this department. I also have Glaucoma, which can steal your vision over time. This experience was one of my MANY reasons to get the hell up and start living my damn life and do some pretty amazing things with it because you only get one and I've spent too many years wasting mine away.  

Last weekend at Bengtson's Pumpkin Farm in Homer Glen, IL I met someone with MS. It was like I was suppose to meet him. Hubby, Harlie Jade and I were making our way to the entrance and there is a man with a walker who says he needed help and that his car was stolen. He was joking, but told us he lost his car and can't find it. He tells us the make and model and hubby walks off to go find it while I stayed with the man. He told me he lost the car and his wife is waiting at the entrance and can't walk far. He says that my hubby was the first person to actually go and look for his car and that I had a really good man and thanked us. Seriously, this man was super shocked that he did that. He then goes on to tell me that he has MS and that he's had it for 30 years. His wife has it as well. My mouth drops. We had a long, deep and meaningful conversation as I shared with him my story and experience with MS-like symptoms.

He was listening, giving me advice and talked quite a bit. He told me doctors are afraid to tell me and diagnose me and because of the fact that I was so young could have had something to do with it. It's funny that he mentioned that because I never told him doctors were constantly telling me and commenting throughout the testing process about how young I was and having these symptoms. He said it sounds like I could have it until I mentioned my optic neuritis experience. He had the most serious look on his face and stopped us in our tracks and said, "Stop, stop, stop... I'm sorry and I hate to tell you this, but it's definitely MS and doctors were afraid to tell you." He told me not to be scared and to not think about it so much and to continue living my life as if there were no diagnosis until there actually is one at 100%, which is exactly what I've been doing. He gave me a lot of insight and positive thoughts as we shared things about ourselves and our lives.

This experience has really opened my eyes and as I caught myself getting teary-eyed, a little depressed, sad and angry... I told myself that I need to continue living my life exactly the way that I have been and to celebrate life and everything that I can do in this exact moment and to never take my body and health for granted because I know that things can change in an INSTANT at anytime. For me... that's quite often. My health has always and continue to remain a roller coaster of up's and down's. I was taken back a bit by the whole thing. I hear and see all these stories about MS patients, but have never seen the effects that MS can have on someone in person, until last weekend. He made me realize a ton of things and I can go on writing all night about our conversation and what I took away from it, but I won't. I am so glad and blessed to have met this amazing man who has been fighting this disease for 30 years. If that diagnosis ever comes back at 100%, I can assure you that I WILL BE READY to continue kicking, screaming and fighting for the remainder of this life on this planet.

The moral of this post.....

-Be kind to others and lend a helping hand because you never know what their story is and what they have gone through and what they are currently going through. 

It sickens me to know that out of all the people who were passing by my hubby was the first to actually go off and look for his car and it makes me proud that I have such a caring and amazing husband.

-Spread your wings and fly. Life is too short to remain in a bubble and to not find out everything you are capable of in life. You are capable of a lot more than you think! 

-Things can always be worse than what they currently are. 

-Don't take your body and health for granted.

-You are NEVER alone.  

P.S. Sorry for the lack of blog posts for the past month. I have been having computer issues that have been holding me back from posting and some serious house hunting as we are hoping to have a house to call our own by the end of the year. I think I have the computer issues solved. For now anyways.

1 comment: